There are words in philosophy that describe different theories and if I could remember them this article would sound more learned but it is nearly half past one in the morning and I am not going rooting in the car for my philosophy bible. Actually it is not a bible ; in fact it is a wonderful little green covered book that is like a dictionary of sorts and if you look up something or someone belonging to the faculty of philosophy you will more than likely spend at least an hour reading some wonderful theory. Kant or Aristotle can engage one so well that your original lapse of memory is forgotten in the beautiful academic language of philosophy. The drawbacks of studying Sartre or any other philosopher of renown in depth can take huge chunks of our tiny lives . Hence the philosophy dictionary was a great aid to one in those days of academia. Far more interesting tonight is my sudden diversion from the path of magic to the road of realism.
Realism is the fact that there are about a thousand wonderful books sitting in a car outside my house getting colder and damper by the minute. The magic is what is written in those wonderful books and the questions they caused me to ask myself at times , the wonder and thirst for knowledge was a palpable real thing in those days when my books were my friends through many long nights. I sat with Descartes in his humble abode and tried to throw off all that had been handed down to me , I asked myself the same questions and studied those meditations until just like Descartes I realised; I was really there, sitting at a desk because I was thinking therefore I am . I walked with those authors and had dreams of visiting St Petersburg when reading Crime and punishment , I searched for answers and solutions to problems and could not understand the silence of the world as I began to learn more about the human race.The magic was a certain enlightenment I suppose that enlightenment became heavy as slowly and sadly I walked away.
A sudden urge of realism began to unfold that urged me to travel more lightly , in order to do so one should discard anything one has not used for a few years and my theory at the time was that these books were never going to be studied in great depth now as all they contained could easily be assessed via the internet. My most awful non magical thought was that if I magically disappeared the family would have the awful task of sorting through them and they would realise what a crazy mom they had. A mom whose interests spanned such great depths but who could never quite remember who said what and when. A mom who never quite managed to get those book shelves up to hold those wonderful masterpieces.
Amongst these wonderful books are a collection of children’s encyclopaedias that some of my children recently flicked through under a wave of nostalgia as they recognised each others little notes to self on some of the studied pages. A conversation then began on how different times are now as their children my grand children googled all their questions without the trouble of reaching up into my invisible book shelves and looking for the correct book that would solve their questions and maybe just discovering the magical words written in the margins by there parents , aunts and uncles. So tomorrow is another day as someone once said and I have a mission and it is to house those wonderful books and restore some magic to my life our lives.