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Sitting here listening to   wind and rain crashing  around my little house on a hill in the west of Ireland thinking.   Nature reminds us  that   change   is inevitable  , no matter  how one  wants  the night to linger ; night will change into day. For   ice to change to  water  methinks certain  things  would contribute for example heat   or lack of freezing conditions  at least.  A happy non smoker does not  I would argue become  a  slave to  nicotine   as naturally as night becomes day  so therefore I conclude there must be something  of a secret ingredient   in a cigarette  that   works on the mind of some and not of others . There are smokers and there are non smokers. I would suggest that  the majority of  smokers are not happy to be smokers , this research has been done in cold  windy doorways  of hotels , restaurants , theatres  , wedding venues  and many other  places where we smokers gather to discuss our terrible habit . Each time   we leave such areas our self worth   seems to be  carrying another dent . I wonder sometimes  how many dents  until I eventually cave in .

The wind is still howling  and there is no change  fast approaching so my  lovely garden challenge will not I fear sustain me through the winter months . I feel  my spirit rising slowly as  the word DISCIPLINE   keeps knocking on one of the doors of my mind .  I know the change  that must begin and  I know how busy I will be  painting DISCIPLINE  on a thousand doors  au lieu de  LAZY  on some  not all. perhaps lack of discipline or lack of planning would be kinder on some of those past doors  rather than Lazy  but yes I must admit some of the doors in my head labelled Lazy will take discipling to be renamed  Relaxation sans smoke . They say that   a habit takes about 30 days to form; who they are je ne sais pas mais pas de probleme .  One of the things I feel I must do is something I love and I just love  using   some  French language   here and there in the hope that one day I will write a  whole page  of  perfect French.   A guy once told me   when I was rabbiting on about how  wonderful   the French language was that  maybe I should  study my own  Gaelic language  , he did look a  learned and  philosophical  Guru type  he also added that  to study my own  roots would  give me the key to happiness  I desired.

Those motivational  quotes  are  great to read  and  sometimes they do enter one of the doors in my head . I  like to make my own up sometimes they are probably based  on something   someone said before but  the one  I always call to mind as it must  have a rather large signpost over it; is  the drawing of steps  that I made  when  studying for my degree   , I still have that piece of  paper somewhere and I will attach it to this entry , as it holds a lot of power for me. The power   to keep on  moving   and  seeing the next step  is  a wonderful feeling now to just get on that first step  its the hardest one  I think  .  I call myself Kate when  filled  with determination , Kate is so strong   and always reaches the top of the stairs  sometimes the  climb is tough she  falls   slowly down  though so next time  Kate  is a happy non smoker    how will she   manage the stairs stay in tune for  the next episode  of  Kate’s climb  to find out if she has taken the first step . Happy happy days  .

 

 

 

 

 

 

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3 thoughts on “Kate is trying to step on the ladder.

  1. Have you tried hypnosis for quitting smoking? I have several friends who did it and haven’t looked back.

    The weather has been a bit dreary hasn’t it? Fortunately it hasn’t turned frigid cold yet as the wild winds are enough, still the fire is on and not only to dry the laundry by. It always feels colder inside these Irish block houses than outside anyhow, funny how it’s like a fridge…

    Keep on keeping on with the French! It’s more useful than the Gaelic anyhow and whatever does Mr. Knowitall know about the key to your personal happiness anyway? 😉

    Big hugs, Melissa

    Liked by 1 person

    • ha ha , you are right about our houses being cold inside, and thanks for your comment; at the moment doing a bit of research into acupuncture also helping out in our local community centre on Thursday mornings , hope to do some more writing now the weather has changed , miss the outdoors but hopefully there will be plenty of opportunities to get out as soon as the rain stops , keep warm look forward to reading your delightful blog. Kathy xxx

      Liked by 1 person

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